blaah

Tidbits yo!
-I should have flipped my shoes for the past two days, yesterday i wore rainboots and it was that annoying misty rain. Today it was a full on monsoon, I was completley soaked and was in, of course my breatable sneakers which got my feeet completely soaked.

- I went to meet with my advisor about classes, so told me to bring my grades up, which I am trying to do. It freaked me out when she asked if I had any other majors in mind to do. Of course i didn't. But I can do it, I can do well on all my next test and survive and prevail.

- I am going to Boston on Friday to see one of my bestest friends ever. I am so excited that I can't contain myself. I think it will be good to just relax a little when I'm up there. But of course major anatomy studying will take place.

- I left my umbrella in my addvisor's office today, got lost trying to get out, realized i forgot the umbrella and had to awkwardly go back and get it because it was a fairly expensive umbrella and it was pouring out.

-The yankees are in the world series, if you didn't know. Which means I will be bothering my dad and other best friend a lot because they are huge fans.

- I have to get up at 3:30 tommorrow to go to work with my dad so he can bring me to the train station after class. I'm planning on going to bed right after ace of cakes.


okay i have to go to bed, night!

General updates...?

And so my life comes to me in waves, I am doing things for like 3 weekends and then nothing, I work all the time and then, nothing. I don't have any tests and then, they all come at once.

I would normally hit the shift bar key here and randomly hit a bunch of keys but I am above that, but just for reference I frustrated.

So, what's happened this week?
Nothing is the sweet short answer of it. I was freaking out Monday night and almost had a legit tantrum because the stupid play-off games were going way over their alloted time and I needed my House. See I don't watch many TV shows anymore, the major ones are House, Jon and Kate Plus 8, Lost, Mythbusters, Ace of Cakes and Doctor Who/Torchwood. J&K+8 is ending this November and Lost finishes next spring. So when my little amount of regular shows is reduced, Meaghan gets Angry.


And other than that I have a ton of studying and work to do, and its halloween and boston soooo soon, I am so excited :)

I love...

Before, when I wrote my ranting post about things that I hate, I was tired and frustrated with the amount of work I have for school. I still feel like I am standing in piles of work that never get done, but a lot of the stress from that week is over. So here are a list of the things that I love (in no particular order):
I love snuggiling under a ton of covers to sleep. I love waking up before I have to and thinking of wonderful things while I stay in a semiconsious stupor until my alarm goes off. I love Disney movies, and the music (Well except Hannah Montanta and High School Muscial). I love watching endless hours of tv and getting nothing done. I love watching House, Gilmore Girls, Ace of Cakes, Doctor Who, Torchwood, and Mythbusters. I love my bestest friends who have been with me through thick and thin. I love dancing to old music to feel cool. I love watching youtube channels that make me feel good about myself, like the vlogbrothers and the 5awesomegirls. I love books, and the fact there is never enough time to read them all. I love signed copies of books (I wish I went to see Scott Westerfield today, but it was gross out and I needed to get work done). I love driving endlessly with my friends and making 'that's what she said jokes'. I love making people happy. I love my family. I love the eccentric friends of work who make work a little better. I love making people laugh. I love the male population, though I don't interact with much of them. I love playing rockband. I love Harry Potter. I love that I found out about Leaky and Mugglenet. I love the Beatles. I love the colors of my walls. I love that I finally painted the walls after eight years of deciding on a color. I love that I am going to see one of my very best friends in two weeks and my experience the real college life. I love that I am more loved than I think I am. I love anatomy and physiology, even though its really hard. I love having a glass of tea and a book to read. I love TV marathons. I love wasting time on facebook. I love that I have so many different types of music. I love that my room will always be messy, not matter how much my mom hates it. I love how i am a dreamer. I love that I can do what I want and that I will be able to get through the Physical Therapy program.


And it's safe to say that I think I do love myself, I never thought that for a long time and it's nice that I can see myself in that way. It's also nice that I think I love more things than hating more things :)

I hate...

I hate poetry. I hate annoying long and stupid poetry. I hate analyzing poetry. I don't care about it. Just say what you want in simpler words. I hate observing artwork. I hate comparing art and poetry. I hate school. I hate writing papers. I hate being so tired that I can't function. I hate that I'm not four anymore. I hate that I have no talent. I hate that I am so self consious about everything. I hate that my friends are so far away growing as people. I hate that I still live at home with my parents. I hate that I feel that am going no where and becoming no one. I hate my job as a waitress. I hate working and going to school fulltime. I hate that I have lost so much motivation. I hate the all encompassing feeling of being alone. I hate not being able to read the books I want. I hate physics. I hate people who can't drive. I hate that I am hypersensitive. I hate that I can't take critisizim. I hate that I can't take complements. I hate that I am not more outgoing. I hate that I am not more agressive on my standpoints. I hate that the future is coming too fast. I hate the unknown. I hate that I just closed a popup on my laptop that may have been important.

Accidents and Stressin' Out Man.

All I want to do this weekend is sleep and hang out with my friend who came home for Columbus day. But no, I have to work and I was in an accident today that did some unsightly damage to my car.
I was driving by two lanes that were full of traffic, because the highway split into two and I was heading towards the one with less traffic. A stupid New York driver decides to pull out in front of me. There is very little room between me and him and so I break as fast as I can and we collide, with damage to my passenger side bumper and his driver side. But he keeps going and doesnt stop! So I pull over, call my mom and freak out and have to call the state police. A terrifying state po-po comes and tells me theres nothing to do and I go home. I then realize I lost my plate and now we have to figure out what to do about it.

All in all it was a fanfreakingtastic week with 3 tests, my dismal anatomy test being returned and lack of sleep. Awesome.

more ranting about school.

The general smell of stress is all around me. I can see it in other people's face and the fact that you get jumped if you go and get a set of bones from the school's library. It's crazy how many bones I have to know for tomorrow. I know the majority of them, there's a couple that I have to go through.

But overall the stresses of school are getting to me and to everyone. I don't remember being this stressed around this time last semester. Oh well it comes eairlier and earlier. awesome.

I hate school so much. My professor emailed me saying I got a 67 on a test. I have to get a C- in the class or I'm screwed. I am terrified for myself. It's anatomy and if I can't handle it now, what am I going to do for Human Anatomy if I'm still a PT major.

What if I get kicked out of the health science school? What am I going to do? I have no interest in any other fields to work in. I will have a sucky gpa, a sucky social life and fail out of college.

I just want to fall into a hole and never crawl out.

Oh College.

Nothing is more exciting than coming out of a test where you feel fairly confident that you did well only to go online to see that your biostats class is canceled for tomorrow. Excellent-ish. I have to get to school at the same time because I have to get a parking spot, but it means my test is postponed until Monday.

Not that I'm worried since its an open notebook and notes test. Epic win on that teachers part.

Otherwise life has been busy with school and work. My friends come home next weekend and I still have a ton of stuff to do before then. Like right now I should probably be doing my physics lab so I only have to study for anatomy this weekend...

I'll get on it, It's not even 10 and my next class is at 12:30. I'm good. I'll procrastinate a lot and then take a nap...?