blahhhhhhhh

Well Hello there blog, I've been mia for a bit. But it wasn't my fault really. School has kicked my butt for the last time this semester so I've spent the last few days working a bit, hanging out with friends and being just generally lazy. So here's whats new:

-I just erased my saved episode of Doctor Who: The Waters of Mars. Not happy at all about that and I have to see when it is on again to rerecord it.

- We got like 7 inches of snow in the massive snowstorm that hit the east coast. I may or may not be sledding in it with my friends later, but who knows.

- Christmas is coming soon, which means I have to do my tradition of reading all the Christmas scenes in Harry Potter, attempt to finish Let it Snow, and watch Love Actually.

- My house is the host of Christmas this year, which means this coming week I will be running around like a madwomen, buying stuff for my mom, baking cookies, and help cooking, as well as playing hostess to my family when they come because my mom will be cooking.

- Last night I dreamed that I was in a bookstore looking for a John Green novel when he popped up out of nowhere and helped me find the books, signed it and then I found a nerdfighter note in the one behind it. I do hope this dream becomes a reality because that would be awesome.

That is pretty much the jist of my life at the moment, my friends are home so I'm happy and I'm waiting to see how bad I did this semester.

Whooo hoooo!

Computers.

As much as I spend so much time on the computer, I can sort of recall the first major times I have experienced the internet.

There was always that really huge monitor and tower around in my kitchen (we didn't have room for it anywhere else since we lived in a small apartment). I remember my parent having to string the Ethernet cable (didn't know what that was at the time) across the room from our telephone to deal with dial-up. Yes I remember those days where I had to listen to that god-forsaken tone. I remember the first internet experiences being with my parents showing me funny emails they got from friends that sang and were animated.

We used the computer in school mainly for paint. I remember in fourth grade we would have free time and I would go on the big computer in the back and just use paint for the longest time, making aliens, spray painting a colored background.

I think the first real experience I had online though that got me really interested was when my friends and I found the first harry potter movie website where i could be sorted, pick a pet and design it as well as get a wand. I also remember wanting my mom to download aol because I would watch Nick and they would always say AOL Keyword to search for stuff.

I have no idea what our first computers were like, we have three desktops before my uncle got me my first dell laptop (Which I still have because I got it in like 2005).

It's amazing what the internet did for me, and how my life would be so different. I just asked my dad the other day what he did without having the internet so freely and he shrugged and said he had no idea.

So thanks internet for being around and getting better (but more complicated) everyday

I always forget about that overwhelming feeling that I am going to fail all of my finals.

It's bad enough I'm going to be the only one in Biostats taking the final because I have such a low grade.

HP Weekend

Harry Potter weekend in ABC Family means I won't get much studying done.

Why must it be on during finals time? I will be so excited if the do this when I am done with school.

Watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone makes me sad to realize how much time has gone by and how little of it is left.

The kids were adorable then, and now I think most of the guys are soo good looking and I aspire to look just a sixteenth as good as Emma Watson.

Life just moves too damn fast.

50 Things I Am Thankful For.

1. Family
2.Friends
3. Going to a good school for not a lot of money
4. Harry Potter
5. Movie & Actors/Actresses
6. Books
7. John and Hank Green, and all the other Youtube additions to their core ideas
8. Water
9. Oxygen
10. My house
11. Fred (my car)
12. Nailpolish
13. DVRs
14. TV
15. ipods
16. Disney
17. Chick Flicks
18. House MD
19. Gilmore Girls
20. Being alive in the 21st century
21. Hot showers
22. Mac and Cheese
23. The Internet
24. Blankets
25. Chocolate
26. Living in the US
27. Ridiculous TV shows
29. British People
30.MLIA, TFLN, facebook, FML ect...
31. Long drives
32. Funny people
33. Vacations
34. working
35. memories
36. pictures
37. shoes
38. my red hair
39. my health
40. cake
41. environmentalism
42. people
43. the future
44. socks
45. jewelry
46. giraffes
47. the men and women fighting for us
48. being a physical therapy major
49. living in a free country
50. the ones I love, and those who love me


Happy Thanksgiving to you Americans! And everyone else, just take the time to be thankful for what you have.

Clothes

It's sometimes weird being at the awkward stage of finishing up your teenage years, but still not feeling like an adult. I mean I went shopping today and the first adult thing I had to think about was getting a credit card. I called my mom twice to see what she'd say but she didn't answer. I got stuff but no the credit card, which isn't that big of a deal.

The other big thing is the fact that now that I am older, I dress differently. I went down a top size (Whoo!) and it was just weird seeing myself in clothes that are a bit tighter and not so large and frumpy looking. I knew if I went with my mom she'd say everything was too tight. If I went with my friends they would say I look good and I'd be stuck with that feeling of "Can I really pull this off and does it go?"

I gave in and bought a couple shirts and sweaters and some new camis. It was funny to because I went to gap before and saw seventy dollar sweaters and was like "Oh god, no way can I spend that much on clothes". So I then went to Old Navy instead. I now have a ton of sweaters for winter, but thats good.


Well this seemed rather pointless, but whatever. I'm okay, school is busy and frustrating but what can you expect?

I think I'll go take a nap now.

Hanging by threads now.

All I really want to do is rake all the leaves that are to the left of me on my school's lawn and jump in them. Like really badly. They look rather crunchy and dry and the perfect texture to jump in.

I also don't want to work, go to mystic, or study for my muscles exam on tuesday or register for classes monday.

I think I nap sounds good now, instead of doing homework, going to a tutor meeting, or to class.


Thanksgiving break can't come fast enough in my opinion.

I wish i could write long and elaborate posts about my life, but none of it is that interesting.

Boston was great, I went to my first real college party, had a little to drink (I was not a fan of drinking my own cup so I kind of kept sharing my friends, and then i did a shot of vodka which was gross). We walked around all night pretty much, ate chineese food at 2am, got confused as to what the real time was because of day lights saving's time. Some creepy man started following us down the street, I got hugged my a really good looking drunk guy who smelt soo good. And I had breakfast for dinner.

It was fun, I had a blast meeting my friend's friends and her as well. And my stupid train home got delayed two hours. I was so bored that I started taking pictures of the ridiculous sky mall contraptions.


Other than that, life is busy. Lots of test and work and papers and classes to sign up for in the next two weeks. I should go shower and finish studying for anatomy but knowing my luck ill nap or eat or watch a you tube video.

As they say, that's life!

blaah

Tidbits yo!
-I should have flipped my shoes for the past two days, yesterday i wore rainboots and it was that annoying misty rain. Today it was a full on monsoon, I was completley soaked and was in, of course my breatable sneakers which got my feeet completely soaked.

- I went to meet with my advisor about classes, so told me to bring my grades up, which I am trying to do. It freaked me out when she asked if I had any other majors in mind to do. Of course i didn't. But I can do it, I can do well on all my next test and survive and prevail.

- I am going to Boston on Friday to see one of my bestest friends ever. I am so excited that I can't contain myself. I think it will be good to just relax a little when I'm up there. But of course major anatomy studying will take place.

- I left my umbrella in my addvisor's office today, got lost trying to get out, realized i forgot the umbrella and had to awkwardly go back and get it because it was a fairly expensive umbrella and it was pouring out.

-The yankees are in the world series, if you didn't know. Which means I will be bothering my dad and other best friend a lot because they are huge fans.

- I have to get up at 3:30 tommorrow to go to work with my dad so he can bring me to the train station after class. I'm planning on going to bed right after ace of cakes.


okay i have to go to bed, night!

General updates...?

And so my life comes to me in waves, I am doing things for like 3 weekends and then nothing, I work all the time and then, nothing. I don't have any tests and then, they all come at once.

I would normally hit the shift bar key here and randomly hit a bunch of keys but I am above that, but just for reference I frustrated.

So, what's happened this week?
Nothing is the sweet short answer of it. I was freaking out Monday night and almost had a legit tantrum because the stupid play-off games were going way over their alloted time and I needed my House. See I don't watch many TV shows anymore, the major ones are House, Jon and Kate Plus 8, Lost, Mythbusters, Ace of Cakes and Doctor Who/Torchwood. J&K+8 is ending this November and Lost finishes next spring. So when my little amount of regular shows is reduced, Meaghan gets Angry.


And other than that I have a ton of studying and work to do, and its halloween and boston soooo soon, I am so excited :)

I love...

Before, when I wrote my ranting post about things that I hate, I was tired and frustrated with the amount of work I have for school. I still feel like I am standing in piles of work that never get done, but a lot of the stress from that week is over. So here are a list of the things that I love (in no particular order):
I love snuggiling under a ton of covers to sleep. I love waking up before I have to and thinking of wonderful things while I stay in a semiconsious stupor until my alarm goes off. I love Disney movies, and the music (Well except Hannah Montanta and High School Muscial). I love watching endless hours of tv and getting nothing done. I love watching House, Gilmore Girls, Ace of Cakes, Doctor Who, Torchwood, and Mythbusters. I love my bestest friends who have been with me through thick and thin. I love dancing to old music to feel cool. I love watching youtube channels that make me feel good about myself, like the vlogbrothers and the 5awesomegirls. I love books, and the fact there is never enough time to read them all. I love signed copies of books (I wish I went to see Scott Westerfield today, but it was gross out and I needed to get work done). I love driving endlessly with my friends and making 'that's what she said jokes'. I love making people happy. I love my family. I love the eccentric friends of work who make work a little better. I love making people laugh. I love the male population, though I don't interact with much of them. I love playing rockband. I love Harry Potter. I love that I found out about Leaky and Mugglenet. I love the Beatles. I love the colors of my walls. I love that I finally painted the walls after eight years of deciding on a color. I love that I am going to see one of my very best friends in two weeks and my experience the real college life. I love that I am more loved than I think I am. I love anatomy and physiology, even though its really hard. I love having a glass of tea and a book to read. I love TV marathons. I love wasting time on facebook. I love that I have so many different types of music. I love that my room will always be messy, not matter how much my mom hates it. I love how i am a dreamer. I love that I can do what I want and that I will be able to get through the Physical Therapy program.


And it's safe to say that I think I do love myself, I never thought that for a long time and it's nice that I can see myself in that way. It's also nice that I think I love more things than hating more things :)

I hate...

I hate poetry. I hate annoying long and stupid poetry. I hate analyzing poetry. I don't care about it. Just say what you want in simpler words. I hate observing artwork. I hate comparing art and poetry. I hate school. I hate writing papers. I hate being so tired that I can't function. I hate that I'm not four anymore. I hate that I have no talent. I hate that I am so self consious about everything. I hate that my friends are so far away growing as people. I hate that I still live at home with my parents. I hate that I feel that am going no where and becoming no one. I hate my job as a waitress. I hate working and going to school fulltime. I hate that I have lost so much motivation. I hate the all encompassing feeling of being alone. I hate not being able to read the books I want. I hate physics. I hate people who can't drive. I hate that I am hypersensitive. I hate that I can't take critisizim. I hate that I can't take complements. I hate that I am not more outgoing. I hate that I am not more agressive on my standpoints. I hate that the future is coming too fast. I hate the unknown. I hate that I just closed a popup on my laptop that may have been important.

Accidents and Stressin' Out Man.

All I want to do this weekend is sleep and hang out with my friend who came home for Columbus day. But no, I have to work and I was in an accident today that did some unsightly damage to my car.
I was driving by two lanes that were full of traffic, because the highway split into two and I was heading towards the one with less traffic. A stupid New York driver decides to pull out in front of me. There is very little room between me and him and so I break as fast as I can and we collide, with damage to my passenger side bumper and his driver side. But he keeps going and doesnt stop! So I pull over, call my mom and freak out and have to call the state police. A terrifying state po-po comes and tells me theres nothing to do and I go home. I then realize I lost my plate and now we have to figure out what to do about it.

All in all it was a fanfreakingtastic week with 3 tests, my dismal anatomy test being returned and lack of sleep. Awesome.

more ranting about school.

The general smell of stress is all around me. I can see it in other people's face and the fact that you get jumped if you go and get a set of bones from the school's library. It's crazy how many bones I have to know for tomorrow. I know the majority of them, there's a couple that I have to go through.

But overall the stresses of school are getting to me and to everyone. I don't remember being this stressed around this time last semester. Oh well it comes eairlier and earlier. awesome.

I hate school so much. My professor emailed me saying I got a 67 on a test. I have to get a C- in the class or I'm screwed. I am terrified for myself. It's anatomy and if I can't handle it now, what am I going to do for Human Anatomy if I'm still a PT major.

What if I get kicked out of the health science school? What am I going to do? I have no interest in any other fields to work in. I will have a sucky gpa, a sucky social life and fail out of college.

I just want to fall into a hole and never crawl out.

Oh College.

Nothing is more exciting than coming out of a test where you feel fairly confident that you did well only to go online to see that your biostats class is canceled for tomorrow. Excellent-ish. I have to get to school at the same time because I have to get a parking spot, but it means my test is postponed until Monday.

Not that I'm worried since its an open notebook and notes test. Epic win on that teachers part.

Otherwise life has been busy with school and work. My friends come home next weekend and I still have a ton of stuff to do before then. Like right now I should probably be doing my physics lab so I only have to study for anatomy this weekend...

I'll get on it, It's not even 10 and my next class is at 12:30. I'm good. I'll procrastinate a lot and then take a nap...?

Unimportant quick post.

I'm in that state of maybe being sick but not really sure. I worked and was just generally tired, and when that was done I plopped myself on our couch and watch 4 episodes of lost. Impressive when I should have been studying for anatomy. Oh well, I have two full days tomorrow since I get out of work at like 2, which is fantastic.

Nothing exciting has been going on either. So I'm going to go to bed because I have to be up at 7:15. Urgh, see ya later.

Yay for positivity.

Today was good. Lab went well, I watched house and it was amazing. I thought my friend was mad at me but she had to leave right away. So me in panic mode wrote this long note to her telling her how I am a terrible person when it comes to giving advice. I watched charlie stick 13 marshmallows in his mouth (I managed 9 this summer) And got a letter from my friend to do a secret mission this weekend. Oh, and I don't have physics lab for another two weeks.


Good, good day.

Rwar!

I am wearing my Beatles t-shirt and my chucks. I'm feeling today will be a good day.

Why? Because I said so.

So Today started off rather crappy. To start I had to wake up at like 7:30 when all I wanted to do was snuggle in my bed and wake up at like noon. I had to get ready and leave quickly because our cleaning lady comes early and I had to get to class for nine. I was driving to school, and tried to accelerate, but it made this noise that did not sound like an normal car acceleration, it sounded like the opposite of a car changing gear. I looked and it said check engine, so I had to go from the passing to the breakdown lane, and wait like an hour for a tow-truck. I missed my class at nine and luckily I was able to sit into the next class. Normally I work now, but I can't because I don't have a car to get there.

Something broke and now I have to pay like $500 to get it fixed. Greeeeeat.

Now I'm watching recorded episodes from Torchwood, it's good so far the only things that sucks is that I know happens to some characters. Sad


But in happier news Lizzie McGuire is on in like ten minutes so I'm gonna watch that I think. Brings back so much memories of being 11 and young and naive.

Today Will Be A Good Day

Sometimes I think days are going to be horrible. I left my house later than I thought, I practically ran across my school's quad and into the woods, far from where I parked. Lets just say I am not physically fit because I am incredibly lazy. But I get into class and ten minutes in I realized that another girl is wearing the exact same shirt I am wearing. Now it wasn't that big of a deal to me, but It's just ironic we were talking about probability in biostats and I kept thinking to myself "What's the probablity she'd have the same shirt as me and wear it on the same day."

But it also got worse as I realized that I needed shoes for my physics lab because I was wearing flip flops. I called my dad to bring me to target in a town over so I could keep my parking spot. He said he couldn't talking about stuff to do at work and covering a press confrence in New Haven over the terrible story about the missing Yale student. So I ran to Target and found no sneakers freaking out internally. But they had these cute blue penny loafer type things on sale for seven dollars. So I got them. I figure they cover most of my feet and we're working with a pendulum in physics anyway. But I got back to the parking lot from hell and scanned for spots until I was spontaneous and asked these guys walking if they were leaving. Ones said yes and I followed him to a PERFECT spot so close to the main campus I wanted to cry.

So now I'm trying to be productive and work on notes for a presentation for my leadership class. I'm meeting my group after class so I figure I should do something.



So I am feeling today will be a good day. I am staying positive for my sake.

Tid-Bits from my day

- Four consecutive hours of Anatomy related work is so incredibly tiring that I wanted to die today, I'm not sure if I will be able to handle an 8 to 12:15 period of Anatomy, but I'll try.

- Not having the internet is a very scary thing. Walking around campus, laptop in hands and internally cursing the devil, who controls the magic of wifi sometimes, is not a pleasant sight. I had to go to the help desk and also seceretly prayed (Not to the devil obviously, more so to baby Jesus or God) to just let it be the wireless at school, because i realized how much stuff I don't have saved onto external disks and such. Luckily it ended up working, maybe out of my praying, or all those high payed tech guys were able to figure it out.

- When one see's the head of the department of the major you're in, one gets flustered internally. The head of the Physical Therapy department walked into the computer help desk as I walked out feeling much better that it wasn't my computer that was all wonky. He said hello to me and I did the same to me. At least he recognized me, which is good. I then walked back to my home away from home (the Library), and saw my Physical Therapy adviser. She recognized me, which is good because I've seen her like three times in the past year.

-I want to duplicate these chairs in the library, they are amazing and comfortable and the only reason why I haven't passed out in them is because I've managed to procrastiate and read the Treasure map of Boys by E. Lockhart.


-And in about forty five minutes I have to go to a meeting to explore the deep nature of my leadership skillz. Go me.

Work, Life Rant.

Sometimes I hate working as a waitress in a fairly low quality restaurant. It's higher than McDonalads, but it's pretty bad in my opinion. The people generally don't tip well, they are so needy, and most of the time expect you to carry them to their table and feed them bon-bons. It frustrates me that these people feel like they can use the work staff at any waitress because they are paying for their food, when respect is ineeded in whatever a person does.

So overall I hate waitressing, I like the money, I dislike those terrible customers, ridiculous tips, and some of my annoying co-workers.

But the nice thing about waitressing is that I am not doing it forever. That is all I keep telling myself to get through it. It is not my career, I only have to do it for another few years tops and then I can get a real job or something that will help me to my ultimate goal of a real job.

The other lucky thing that I also have to keep telling myself is the money is not completlely gone the moment I get it. A lot of kids my age that work at the same reasturant as me are on their own now, taking care of bills, food and rent. I only have to pay a small amount of those in comparison, with forty dollars a month towards dental insurance, some food at school and part of my car insurance. I'm glad that I don't have to (generally) buy my own food and pay for rent. Even though I feel like my mom would want me to pay rent, she hasn't asked me and I feel like she never will.


I guess its nice that I am going to a good school, that I have to pay very little for and my parents still support me even though leagally I don't think they have to.


I just have to be more optimistic about my life and future in general. I can do all the things I want to and I will because it's the type of person I am.

Catching Fire Recap!

Don't read this if you want to read the book.

The book was excellent. Favorite so far of this year.

Generally speaking I knew certain things were bound to happen. I knew that once they mentioned the fact that District 13 may still be around that we'd go there at somepoint. I was thinking in this book, but I was absolutley SHOCKED when they redid the Hunger Games with the previous winners. Part of me wanted Katniss and Hymiecth to go in and not Peeta. I was sooo sad when I almost thought Peeta was dead. I almost cried, but resisted because if I cried, tears would blurry my vision. Yes I am now an offical Katniss/Peeta supporter. I love Peeta soo much. I made my 13 year old cousin read it and she agrees with me, but before I tried to stay neutral.

I was so sad that they only saved Katniss, really really really made me sad and angry.

I have to reread the book this summer, because it was sooo good :)

School is going well so far. I have a lot of friends in my classes and am more comfortable talking to people in general. My classes are alright. Difficult, but they frustrate me because all the major science classes I am taking I already took in high school. I mean I am glad I am taking them, it's just frustrating sometimes. I have a meeting for physical therapy majors tomorrow. It'll be weird because a year ago I was at the same meeting, worried about my future and if I was capable of staying in the program. I am still, but there is a strange feeling of confidence that is whispering in my ear, "Yes Meaghan, you can do this. Get through your classes and do something you want for once in your life."

It's weird though, because I think I am more confident than I was in like sophomore or junior year of high school. I like it, but it's unusual for me.


In unrelated news, I am reading Catching Fire right now and its soo good that I'm trying to stifle my reading of it. I don't want it to end and have to wait until next year when the last one comes out. I'm already halfway done with it and will probably finish it tomorrow because I have like a three hour break after Anatomy and Physiology.

Well I'm going to shower and continue reading.

Night!

Back to Class.

This summer seems to have sucked the life out of me and all I want to do is watch Brotherhood 2.0 videos and Lost.

Avoiding the temptation to do nothing is going to be very hard this semester.

To Those Summer Nights I'll Never Forget.

So here comes the end of the summer, the fall chill is creeping about, which is a hundred percent true because today's high was like 66. But I feel the need to do one of those encompasing "What I Did On My Summer Vacation" posts. But before I dot I must mention the episode I tapped of Doctor Who had Barty Crouch and Barty Crouch Jr. in it! Win!

But in reality this has probably been one of the best summers ever. I worked as little as possible, hung out with my friends as much as possible and just had a great time.

May began in school, last weeks of class, finishing finals and then summer came. I basiclly bummed around for a few weeks with my friend Amy. We spent too much money on DVDs. My collection has mulitplied by like a ten-fold this summer alone. We did a lot of hiking. We traveled to sleeping giant, a mountian right next to my college where we took the hardest trail to the top, and I found out that I was an indoor child. I also decided one day during my usless hours spent driving around my town that I wanted to paint my room, so I got paint samples to put on the wall and wall paper remover. I started that project and it took up most of the summer when I finished almost in August.

Towards the end of May and the first two weeks of June, I spent it with my cousin and grandmother in Virginia. My Aunt was in Australia and Singapore for a business trip and she wanted me to come down and spend time with my cousin and keep my grandmother company. I basically lived the life of a retiree and read a lot, walked around the neighborhood, and had a persise and intricate TV schedule and lifestyle. Basically me looking at facebook every five seconds once I found a reliable but unsercure wireless. I hung out with teens and two adorable kids who were crazy and wild. Then I had to come back and face the reality of CT with the hopes of a trip to Canada in August, which seemed so far away at the time.

After my trip to Canada, I stayed home and bummed around some more, spending a lot of time at the local video rental store as my friend started dating a co-worker and befriending another one. I spent even more time taking down wallpaper with friends. One night my mom came home completely drunk and spent twenty mintues talking to me and my friend about how hot it was to take down wallpaper and how she was such a good friend. We'll still make fun of that night until we are old and senire. I painted a lot in July. I primed the walls, Painted the popcorn ceiling from hell and then painted the actual room. I hung out with my friends more, having an awesome forth of July party, meeting one of my best friend's friends from school. Roasting marshmellows, being incredibly stupid and just enjoying life. I went to Cape Cod for the first time with my friend and had a great time being a tourist and her showing me everything. I deleted all of my pictures off my camera before I put some on my laptop. I celebrated my 19 birthday playing mini-golf and going to dinner with friends. It was a good month.

August came too fast, which me still bumming around. My best friend was an orientation leader for her school for a week and a half so I didn't see her that ofter in the middle of July and my other friend pulled 40 hours a week too. I went on a cruise to Canada and had a spiffy time being a tourist and then spend 2 days in NYC being a tourist and seeing a great play Wicked. I hung out with friends more and enjoyed the last few precious days of summer. And here I am, already have said bye to two friends and getting ready for school in 2 days.

It wasn't as sad an scary as it was last year. I think the shock will hit my when I can't just call my friends and say lets go out and we obviously can't because of distance.


It was a fufilling summer and one I don't think I will ever forget. I don't want it to end because I want to be lazy forever. I just got an e-mail from my Anatomy lab professor and he's an MD PhD. Impressivley terrifying much?


It's funny though, there are three types of college kids. Those who want to go back right the minute they left (They enjoy the freedom, partying, new and awesome friends ect.) Those who don't ever want to go back (Too much drama, work, money ect.) And those in the middle. (A combo of the two). I like to think I'm the last type.



But in unrelated news I went to Justin's wake. It was the saddest thing I've ever been to. No Parent should have to bury their child, especailly at his age. I saw a lot of teachers I had in elementary school as well as a couple class mates. I hugged his parents and sister and told them how sorry I was. I told them Justin was an important part of my childhood and nothing would change that. It surreal and terrible and I cried while I was there and on my way home. It's still surreal to think he's gone, and it hits me from time to time. I hope his family is okay and they gain peace over the whole thing.

Anyway its late and I want to watch this episode of Doctor Who.

Night readers (the zero of you out there). Get ready for my sophomore year at college to come.

Allergies to corn?

Did you know its possible to be allergic to corn and potatoes? Well my brother is. I'm pretty sure that would cause me to die, well more of the potato part. He has to get an epipen and everything in case its serious. But there are so many food products that have corn in it that he has to limit. Hopefully since they caught it at a fairly young age he'll be able to build up a tolerance and be okay. It's just a weird thing to be allergic to.

I'm going to Justin's wake tomorrow for a little. My parents are wondering why I am going, but I feel like I should go because I knew him and I was close with his sister. I've never been to a wake before so it will be so surreal. My aunt passed away a few years ago and I didn't go to the wake because I was out of state and I was not emotionaly ready to go to one because I was like 15 and couldn't handle it.

Before and after that I'm hanging out with my closest friends because they all leave this weekend, which sucks. I'm going to miss them too much, but I realize we have more fun with different stories to tell. Plus I'd get nothing done if they actually stayed in town.


Well thats whats new and exciting going on in my life, I'm probably going to read and watch Lost tonight.

books and growing up

Well I was enjoying a day of listening to the wonderfully suave John Green talk on blogtv, but his video came up and I watched that and then his blogtv show ended.

You know you get older when you look at the year the Titanic was made in and suddenly 12 years have passed. Where have the gone, can you tell me?! Oh and when its time to get a 'grown up' email address. No more screen names with x's and o's or random numbers. A legit last name. first name is now going to float around, because god knows I'll need it sometime in the future and I better get it fast before all the other Meaghan Little's come a runnin'.


Now Book Survey via Hayley G Hoover, whom I wish to have 1/1000th of her wit and creative writing skills. Hurray mediocrity!

1. What author do you own the most books by?

Jo Rowling, but Louise Rennison may have a close second with 9 books

2. What book do you own the most copies of?
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, with 3.

3. Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?
No. I can hardly speak english, do you expect me to know what a preposition is? (This is untrue, I had to learn like 100 different prepositions in middle school, I could take up the energy to find them in the mess of my brain, but I'm lazy and don't really care.)

4. What fictional character are you secretly in love with?
Quentin Jacobsen, Ed Kennedy, Ron Weasley, Fred Weasley, Stuart Little(even though we share the same last name), Colin Singleton, and maybe Nick Carraway from Great Gatsby, although i haven't reread it in a while and all I think of is my teacher beating me with the green light and eye doctor eyes.

5. What book have you read the most times in your life (excluding picture books read to children; i.e., Goodnight Moon does not count)?
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban? In all honesty I have lost track of how many times I've read certain books in the HP series.

6. What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
Probably HP3. Or something from the babysitter's club. I was obsessed with those books/show.

7. What is the worst book you've read in the past year?
Breaking dawn. I'm pretty sure I never put down a book so many times to stop laughing or trying to figure out why i bought the series.

8. What is the best book you've read in the past year?
The Hunger Games, or Paper Towns maybe oh wait maybe Beloved, by Toni Morrison that was pretty good. Most of the books I've read this year I've read before.

9. If you could force everyone you tagged to read one book, what would it be?
Probably Outliers, which is saying something since I have the book but havent gotten to it yet. I will.

10. What book would you most like to see made into a movie?
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies?

11. What book would you least like to see made into a movie?
Stiff, the Curious Lives of Human Cadavers. As much as it was an interesting and witty book, I don't want to see a movie about dead bodies and their use in the modern world and science.

12. Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.
I was upstairs in some lofty apartment thing when I was awaken by a phonecall to tell Maureen Johnson that she would be going to China in a week. I went downstairs to a table full of authors but only noticed John Green, Maureen, and Hank Green. I relayed the message and joined them for dinner

13. What is the most lowbrow book you've read as an adult?
Twilight? I'm not sure because I'm still getting used to the idea of being an adult and its only been a year.

14. What is the most difficult book you've ever read?
Lord of the Rings. It's wasn't difficult to understand. I just couldn't stand the hobbits singing all the time. And I was 12 at the time so my attention span was pretty low for a large and language rich novel

15. What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you've seen?
I haven't seen any Shakespeare plays, I'm supposedly related to him though.

16. Do you prefer the French or the Russians?
I've barely scraped the surface of english literature, It'll take a while before I take on frech or russian works

17. Roth or Updike?
Never heard of them, I'm so uninformed.

18. David Sedaris or Dave Eggers?
never heard of either again, DAMN TIME FOR BEING SO SHORT

19. Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?
Shakespeare, never heard of Milton and I despise the Canterbury Tales

20. Austen or Eliot?
Austen FTW

21. What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
Probably the time from like 3rd grade to like 8th grade where I just recall reading Harry Potter with a few books in between.


22. What is your favorite novel?
Deathly Hallows. But I'm impartial to the word favorite, I love all books

23. Play?
Romeo and Juliet.

24. Poem?
I despise Poems, like a lot. I will not read them because I hate them so much

25. Essay?
Not a big essay reader out of school, but deffinatley something from my House and Philosophy book or Lost and Philosophy book.

26. Work of nonfiction?
Stiff, the Curious Lives of Human Cadavers

27. Who is your favorite writer?
JKR

28. Who is the most overrated writer alive today?
Stephanie Myers, although good, Not as great as many believe her to be.

29. What is your desert island book?
Deathly Hallows

30. And... what are you reading right now?
The Gun Seller by Hugh Laurie (mmmhm house can solve cases and write books), Outliers by Malcom Gladwell and The Treasure Chest Book by E Lockheart.

Rest In Peace Justin

Sometimes life has a funny way of throwing stuff at you. Last night it occurred for me. I came home from spending the night with a friend and I went to check my facebook account because I'm a vain and obsessive compulsive teenager who need to know about everyone even if I don't talk to them.

Anyway I was checking facebook and I saw a common theme around many friends I went to elementary school with. See I moved after 6th grade and thanks to the magic of facebook I have been able to reconnect with many of them. Well one of the kids in our 'class' was stabbed to death last night. It's shocking and hard to imagine that a 19 year old can now not exist anymore. It's even worse when I think of him because he lived right down the street from me, I hung out with his sister all the time. The two of us carpooled to middle school together in the morning. I went to his house all the time, my brother hung out with him too.

It's hard for me to put my finger on him, he seemed like a trouble maker at the time, but I'd thought it would pass, I mean when you're ten trouble making can't be all that bad. I heard as time passed that he got into trouble with the police and it's just hard to imagine that he's not here anymore. Just gone.


It's worse to think that the person who stabbed him was his friends. They were fighting over cigarettes and I knew the kid who stabbed him from elementary school too.

Sometimes its hard to grow up and see these things happen. And its even worse to think I had a crush on both boys during my time in elementary school.

If anyone wants to read the article, here is the link and please leave Justin in your prayers, especially for his family.

Back from the worldwin adventure that was Canada and New York. It was fun, my thirteen year old cousin tried to stalk and find guys who would be 'great' for me most of the cruise, with her mother, my grandmother and her other grandmother joining in on the fun. They asked so many questions like how tall, how they are built, and so on that I just gave non-comital shrugs of things. At one point they were like 'what about hair?' and I told them hair was a good thing to have. They burst out laughing. See generally I don't think I'm funny. I'm good at playing stupid so they had a blast at my dispense.

It was a semi-relaxing cruise. I ended up going to the gym to work out twice because all I did was eat. Things of food substance kept going in and I felt the waist getting larger and larger. When we landed in NYC it was hard to not grab any sort of food thinking it was free.

I saw Wicked at the Gershwen theater and it was AMAZING. I had the soundtrack to it and I listened to a couple songs, because it is one of those plays that you have to see first to understand the music but It was so uplifting and touching that it made me cry. I told my aunt that I could never live in NYC because I'd constantly be seeing plays and being broke. It was soo good.


But the trip was fun and a great end to the summer, this week is my last week with my friends and getting everything ready for school. Which I'm kind of looking forward to. So we'll see. I have to go shower now because I'm gross and I want to watch the Harry Potter musical.

See ya later!

lazy lazy lazy

I had managed to make a calzone last night in the shape of a penis. Go me!

Oh my god do I not want to pack. I have to go to my grandmother's house in like two hours to help her pack clothes. Which I know is the good thing to do but seriously for the next two hours all I'll be doing is just repeating the words, yeah, mhhmmm, sure, over and over again.

And I still haven't started packing for myself. I mean I have two days left, but my other goals by friday is to finish the last two episodes of Lost, Watch as much brotherhood 2.o as possible (I've made it to may) and finish reading Suite Scarlett by Maureen Johnson. That is a busy schedule and important things to see.


I should probably get going, I have to go get my eyebrows done and return a pair of seasick braceletts because they are huge and ugly.

When I Procrastinate

I should really be, you know, productive around this time of the year. Simply put because I start classes again (Which I've just reconsiled with and am now ready to re-enter the science labs of Quinnipiac University) and I should be buying books, (which by the way, my anatomy book alone is $287. WHAT?! And my physics book is the one I used in High School).

I should even be packing, or starting too at least. Bring up the suitcase, figure out which bags I'm brining, get the million little accecories and make up essentials I'll need. But no I am sitting in my air condioned room on the hottest day/night of summer watching Vlogbrother videos and waiting for the new Jon and Kate Plus 8 episode to air.

I blame the fact that I have the whole week off from Friendly's. I told them to put me on until wednesday, so I could spend Thursday and Friday getting ready. But at this rate, I'll have all the 524 videos of the vlogbrothers watched for a second time. Oh god.


I just had to change the time stamp on my blogs, I was looking at my previous entry and it said I wrote it at nine at night, which was a lie because I got home at like midnight, luckily I fixed it and they have been changed.

sugar sugar sugarrr

There is nothing like being so high on life and on a sugar rush with some of your best friends.

My night consisted of locking a friend in the closet, dragging one across the floor, getting many different liquids on my pants, trying to start a fire, acting like immature 13 year old's where everything is dirty and spelling the word tool out, YMCA style to perform a dance.

I'm pretty sure that these are the moments that make life.


And now I am going to shower and pass out, to go to my last day of work in like 3 weeks, woot!

Usually by the time someone is 18 years old, they are ready to break free from their home and explore the vast and wonderful world of college, or working full time and living on their own. Living how they please with endless possibilities. Me, at 18 I was content at still living at home and going to a good school without having to pay $10,000 to live there. Now I'm not sure if I can handle another year of this. Maybe it's me, I think it has to do with my brother and parents too, but if I don't get out soon I am going to loose my mind.

I bring this up because my mom is constantly complaining about my brother and I not doing anything. Which is true to a degree. But the thing is, I'm young still. I don't want to waste the last year of being a teen cleaning the house and doing laundry when I could be out with my friends before they all leave for school. She has apparently lost all appathy for people who have friends and lives because she doesn't really have one besides working and see us.

That was a little mean, but she won't read it.

Anyway, I'm getting excited because I leave for my cruise to Canada in 8 days which is exciting. We're visitng Halifax and Saint John and then spending a few days in New York City. I get to see the play Wicked, which I am unbearably excited about. I've never been to a play, muchless one on Broadway. I'm looking forward to the cruise too, it'll be fun to be on a boat and see the towel animals they make. It'll be interesting too, since I'm going with my very conservative eighty-something grandmother who may or may not be a pain. I may just want to wander around the ship, and she'll probably freak out. Overall it will hopefully be a nice treat before classes start.

For now one of the last goals of summer is to rewatch all the vlogbrother videos. I just started before this blog and am now almost done with Janurary. Hopefully it will be a mission accomplished.

facebook...

I was bored and looking around facebook when someone tagged two mutual friends in a picture, at first I thought it was one of those 'tag the friends that have certain qualities meme' that has taken over facebook. But it wasn't. It should the most 'stalkers' on the person's facebook.

Weird.

The thing I like about facebook is that no one really knows what I'm doing, unless I post something on someone's wall. This application telling me who looks at my page the most would freak me out and verify the fact that no one looks at my profile.

I guess I'm the type of person who believes that if they don't see it, it doesn't happen. Showing me who looks at my profile the most just shrinks my whole on society and totally minimizes my comfort level a lot

It is of course the famous Jo Rowling's birthday today as well as Harry Potter's and like everyone else who has some opinion and idea on the internet, I am following suit by saying how much they mean to me, my life would be a lot duller and wonderful if my mom never pointed out those books to me about ten years ago.

It's funny because my parents and I went to eat at a local-ish ice cream parlor, and yes I spend my friday nights with my parents, I am so cool. But they normally have an icecream called Berry Potter, which I get because its inspired by HP. Sadly they did not have it today and I was going to eat it in their honor.

I did have a dream though that Jo came to my house and signed my books and I was able to take a picture with her. Someone in my dream was interviewing her and I started talking to her and she wanted to see my house for some reason. It felt so real that I almost went to check my HP books this morning, but I knew it could only be a dream.

If more of my dreams could be a reality then life would be great.

I think they're crying anyway they can't mean no harm

Sally Sparrow I wrote you a letter to make you feel better
'bout the fact that I'm gone
I may be stuck in the past but my future is vast
don't go looking for me, girl, you've got to go on

I'm sitting in my living room watching the episode of Blink from Doctor Who, which is probably one of my favorite episodes of Doctor Who, but the Shakespeare one comes a close second.

I feel like some people are good at blogging, able to spread their message across in simple and powerful words. Me, I feel I am rubbish at this. I can't write for crap, my vocabulary isn't as wide and diverse as others. My communications skills in speaking is even worse, my ablitly to talk what I feel is puncuated by words like "like, um, uh" and awkward silences. Communication has never been my strongest point when I have to say what I want to say. Meaningful things hardly ever come out of my mouth because it just sounds dumb. I guess its a good thing that I didn't major in English or Communications. I enjoy being quite and not having to worry about saying things.

But in completely unrealted news (See how terrible I am at transitions). My room is finally painted! All I have to do tomorrow after working and running errands is put everything away and throwing out the stuff I don't need. Pretty much my whole summer has consited of preparing my room to be painted and actually doing the painting. It's nice to see a change in it. My whole house is pretty much a boring white or shades of blue, so you go up the stairs, take a left and boom its a bright green and purple. My mom has told me its too much of an Easter color, my friends told me its the same colors as Baby Bop from Barney, only not as bold and more pastely.

I am truley going to miss this summer now that I think about it, sleeping in late, working as little as possible, driving on the endless roads of Southington at obsene hours of the night, late night fires involing silly string and flying marshmellows, getting out of Conneticut to Virginia, the Cape and to Canada soon. Just generally spending time with freinds that I love.

I really don't know how I'm going to handle them all leaving agian, I feel like we've all gotten so much closer since school ended. Like everyone leaving for a year and coming back didn't really change us, it just brought us closer with better stories to tell and things to do.


See, its getting a bit sappy. I have to go watch the rest of Doctor Who, shower and get ready for work tomorrow and then my room will be complete.

The world of time of space inside a funny blue box
the angles are approaching and the front door is locked.
So Don't Blink- Blink, Chameleon Circut

Books

I finished I am the messenger, which was a great and inspirational book. I currently have "Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are." as my facebook status. I want to read Getting the Girl next, but I am taking a large step and diving into classic literature.
Okay, well I'm not sure how classic Emma by Jane Austen is, but I read Pride and Prejudice in my sophomore year and liked it. So I hope I understand it. I'm already 150 pages in, but lets just say I stared it when I turned 16. Whoops. So instead of rereading it, I'm gonna sparknote the chapters I've already read.

Generally classics scare me because of the language and the fact that I usually have to read them in school so there is far to much discussion for me. This version of Emma is pretty terrifying because the chapters are numbered with roman numerals. I have always failed at that in school, so basically once I get to the L's, I'm lost
In other news I have an eight hour shift tomorrow of scooping icecream, whoo hoo! I gave up my Thursday shift because I really have to paint my ceiling in my room and that will take all day I have a feeling.

Oh and I've just begun watching the new Torchwood mini series. It's really good so far, I'm a little lost but I think I will understand in the end.


Well thats it, I gotta shower and probably read some of emma with some nice mint chocolate chip icecream, im such a fatty :)

Sometimes I am amazed at people, most of the time I stare at them with my "Are you sure you're not stupid" look. But when I look at the memories of my youth and young-ish teen years it's quite amazing how much I've change, and yet how similar I still am.

I think I was always a nerdy kid, playing with pokemon, being absolutly terrible at any type of sports, getting so sick of hearing the same question over and over again, "Why aren't you playing basketball?" All of these things, and the little things haven't changed, much. Obviously I'm not obsessed with pokemon anymore, although on a rare occassion I'll take out my Game Boy and stick in the dusty Pokemon Red. But overall my manerisms and characteristics haven't really changed. When I find something and I love it I will engage in it in a crazy obsessive manner. For example Harry Potter.

Even with my sense of music, I've been the type of girl who will listen to a cd or a couple of songs constantly, on repeat. My music history is so diverse and crazy that I laugh about it, from Britney Spears, to Green Day, Mamma Mia, Wizard Rock, and to crazy dance music that is popular today can be found on my ipod, with me singing along to every word, albeit badly.


It's just weird to think that I'm still me from pre teenagehood. But I think there's so much that has changed too. I'm more outgoing than my 11 year old self. My best friend likes to make fun of me for this, saying it took me a whole 6 months for me to open up to her. I do agree, I'm more adventerous now and more rash and stupid too. A little late in teenage year but whatever. I am a little stronger now, intelectually and emotionaly. My tolerance for stupid acts and drama has decreased but I'm not a quite kid and will now tell you if a person bothers me.

I also thought I'd be so afraid to move out on my own, but now that I'm 19 I am almost relishing the idea that I can move out sometime soon. My friends worry that when I do things I never ease myself into the prossess. But I've always figured you might as well jump, life doesn't happen gradually so I shouldn't go against nature.


It's just nice to think that I never had any of those crazy mood swings as a teen, from being all emo to a preppy cheerleader or something. Not that thats a bad thing, but I don't think that would work for me.


And I've realized I'm still absolute crap at writing, Oh well.

My birthday has been good overall, just being silly and immature. I first decided it would be a good idea to prime my walls in my room. I've decided its is time to get rid the ugly wallpaper and its taking forever. I finished stripping it of wallpaper (oo err) plastering and sanding it, and its all primed. Tomorrow I get to venture out to the paintstore and get oil based paint to get rid of it, but now im wondering if i should just take the popcorn down if possible.
of My best friends and I spent an hour looking for a new mini golf place on a local turnpike. We spent the time going up and down the busy turnpike, looking around trying to figure out where it was in relation to other stores. The golfing was fun, I was crappy. But then we enjoyed ourself by poking fun at a hole that was the shape of a penis. Hilariosity ensued, and my maturity level decreased minute by minute. We then when to dinner, where i spent the night flinging little rolled up balls of straw paper at my friend with my fork as a make shift catapult.

Overall it was fun, and now I'm going to watch the rest of Doctor Who and probably go to bed.

questionarire time!

I hate plaster, and paint and dust and radiators that are not properly affixed to the wall. Sigh. So I'm going to do this instead!

All time favorite character?
Fred and George? They're one character in my mind.

List the books in order from your favorite to your least favorite.
1. Deathly Hallows
2. Half Blood Prince
3. Prisoner of Azkaban
4.Sorcerer's Stone
5. Goblet of Fire
6. Order of the Phoenix
7. Chamber of Secrets

List the movies in order from your favorite to your least favorite.

1.Goblet of Fire
2. Sorcerer' Stone
3. Prisoner of Azkban
4. Order of the Phoenix
5. Chamber of Secerts

Favorite chapter from your favorite book?
URgh I can't decide, but top three in no order is the Price's tale, The Flaw in the Plan and the Silver Doe

Top 5 favorite characters?
1. Fred and George
2. Ron
3. Snape
4. Harry
5. Hermione

Five least favorite characters?
1. Umbridge
2. Percy
3. Filch
4. Bagman
5. Fudge

Favorite member of the Golden Trio?
Ron

Favorite family?
Weasleys. Blacks are second. Malfoys are third

Favorite antagonist?
Petigrew/Wormtail

Favorite Death Eater?
Snape. But since he's a semi fake Belltarix

Three favorite spells?
Rediculusk
Expelliarmus
Expecto Patronum

Three favorite potions?
Polyjuice Potion
Felix Felicis
Draught of Peace

Favorite Non-Hogwarts magical building?
Weasley's Wizarding Weezes

Favorite Diagon Alley shop?
Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes

Favorite Hogsmeade Shop?
Honeydukes

Favorite Unforgivable Curse?
The Imperius Curse

Favorite mode of wizard transportation?
Apparation

Favorite Weasley?
Fred.

Favorite Order Member?
Sirius.

Favorite DA Member?
Luna

Favorite pet?
Hedwig

Favorite Hogwarts room?
The Room of Requirement.

Favorite Hogwarts Professor?
Snape

Favorite non-human Hogwarts resident?
Sir Nick

Favorite Tri-Wizard Champion?
Harry

Favorite House Elf?
Winky

Favorite Wizard sweet?
choclate frogs, in fact i just got some!

Favorite canon couple?
Ron and Hermione

Favorite non-canon couple?
Neville and Luna.


General Opinions

Biggest surprise of the series?C
Cedric's death

Biggest letdown of the series?
The Epilogue, I liked it. I just wanted more

One character you wish lived?
Fred, Snape, Dumbledore

Moment that will always make you cry?
Deathly Hallows like the entire book, well mostly the end

Your Patronus would be___?
A giraffe? If thats possible. If not probably a deer

Three things Amortentia would smell like to you.
Old Paper, crayons and probably a guyish sent

You would use Felix Felicis to___?
probably pass a test or something or just a random day

Job you would most like to try?
Healer

Ron/Hermione or Harry/Hermione?
R/Hr all the way

James/Lily or Snape/Lily?
James and Lily

Do you know which page Dumbledore was killed on?
Um no. I could find it fast though

Do you think Harry Potter is better than Twilight?
Really? Is this a legit question

Are you going to go see the Half Blood Prince in theatres?
Yes! For the first time at midnight!

Do you own the books/movies?
multiple versions of the books and all the movies

Have you ever played any of the video games?
yup, own them alll.

Don't they kind of suck?
the first like 4 did, I liked the last two because I just walk around hogwarts and take out other students

Do you think it would be cool to have a pet owl?
Of course

How about a rat?
I hate creepy crawly things

Have you ever listened to the soundtrack?
yes, own all 5

Which house would you want to be in?
Probably Ravenclaw.

Do you like Draco?
Yes, moreso in the later books because hes more complicated and interesting.

Would you ever enter the Triwizard tournament?
probably not

Would you keep your money in Gringotts?
well there seems to be no other banks in the wizarding world so yes

What class would be your favorite?
Probably Potions, Charms, Transfiguration and DADA. haha I like school

Do you think you would enjoy being a witch/wizard?
of course



Omg t-minus one day until i see HP6 with krista and TOK!

Yes, its been over a month since last posting, but whatever. I have been busy-ish. The friend dilema mentioned in the last post has smoothed over. She is currently dating him, and I have approved/gave my blessing on the relationship if that makes any sense. I know the guy more now and get his manerisms and such. My freind is just really happy with the guy and that makes me happy.

On to other things. I went to the cape this week. I had a lot of fun having my friend show me around all the good things about the cape. I went to proviencetown, the unoffical gay capital of the east coast and saw many gay men and lots of pretty jewlery and such.


See? We saw that on the way home. I sat on a beach, got burnt and more freckles. kayacked and feel over into the water due to loosing feeling in my legs. It was fun and I'm not ready to go back to work.

In even unrealted news I'm sitting on the flor watching my favorite harry potter movie with edward cullen and the doctor and all the others i love dearly. I am on the floor because my room is a mess. I just finished taking down the walpaper from my walls and now have to plaster everything. god i hate it

Friend Dilema.

Generally I'm a quite kid, I don't do anything bad, or say anything terribly bad to people. But generally speaking I don't want to hurt people's feelings.

There is many reasons to my madness. I tend to think with my head rather than my heart. I may seem rash and sudden sometimes, but I freak out when I don't know what I'm doing next in the whole general picture of things. I may have a messy room, but I like order and organization, and what comes next. Saying that, I generally am not the time to get too emotional on people, the only case is if i see something sad or what I find really emotional. I'm not a big fan of hugging certain people, I find couples and their 'cuteness' kind of gross, and generally the whole flirting with guys and doing a figurative tribal dance annoying and pointless.

Case in point, one of my best friends has this issue that too many guys have things for her, now I do wish that a guy would not look at me in a 'just friends' way, but I find her manners a bit odd. Today I drove her to a party and she decided to leave with the guy she might have feelings for. Now it annoys me that she could have told me that I wasn't taking her home, and also that when it comes to the guys in her life, I have a fairly good idea whats going to happen.

Last time that occurred, I told her not to dance with a guy; she did and he still isn't over her. I told her to be careful with the guy shes flirting with now, because I don't think he's that into her. He's a 19 year old guy who is into anyone who will flirt back with him. He's also abrasive and sort of an ass, taking things way to literally. Like he asked what is my dream car; I said anything that runs. He informed me cars don't run they drive or whatever. He's always like that. I'm just afraid my friend is going to go after something that is not there, or is not good enough for her.

I don't know. I won't tell her this stuff all together, I've told her bits and pieces because I'm afraid of the outcome. Maybe I need to listen to my heart more often, or get a boyfriend.

I've tried to post many many times in the last month, but everytime I start it seems wrong and weird. So lets try this again. Currently I am in Virginia staying with my aunt and cousin because my aunt (thats a different story in itself, shes actually my uncle's ex-wife, but she's my aunt for all intensive purposes.) was in Australia and Singapore. My week has consisted on many interesting things:
- I had a bug crawl into my ear one night. I thought it was a nightmare and I was hallicinating it, but later in the night I heard it moving in my ear, and then i freaked out. I woke everyone up in the house with my loudness, luckily it came out and no damage was done to my ear. I talked to my mom the next day and she asked if I was worried it would eat my brain, I informed her I was more worried that it would puncture my ear drum and I'd be deaf in one ear. She thought the whole experience was a joke. After the fiasco we checked my room for any more creepy crawlers and there was a giant misquito like bug in my room too.

- I have spent far to much money at the local malls in the area and have spent a large amount of money on tank tops that I can wear. Most of my tank tops are cami, so this is a hop, jump and a leap for me. I also bought the Live LeakyCon wizard rock CD.

Yes, I know its been a while, but i've been busy finishing finals and enjoying my summer break. Now I'm kind of freaking out that I won't get time off because My cousin callled me and told me my flight was booked to Virginia. I'm leaving friday. I'm schedualed to work saturday and sunday. Uh- oh!

URhgleohefh

Not good for my stress levels at the moment. I think I could cry. Plus that means I have so little time to pack and figure out what to bring. Urght I hate quick gettaways.

Yes I forgot to post agian yesterday, and yes this is the last beda blog, and its a little sad but a little not. I don't have an interesting life....until today!

Now first off let me say that I am amused by the littlest things and you'll see why...now: So I was driving on the highway today to go to class, when I was going through the shuffle setting on my ipod. Generally I do this because I am too lazy to look for the songs I want and it is unsafe to look through all the music on my ipod while driving around 70mph. I get to a good song, 'Hey Jude'. Now I am a big Beatles fan, love their songs and everything about them. So I'm singing along, and switching lanes to get onto the junction i need to go towards my college when i look up, and there, in front of me, is a car with a license plate that reads Hey Jude. HOW REDICUOULS IS THAT?!

Seriously though it made my day.

Sorry if this month og blogging has been boring and just me ranting. School has been stressful, and luckily I only have less than a week left! My schedual for next year is all fixed and I am hopefully going to do okay in all of my classes, except for calc. Oh that's why I didn't blog yesterday. I was up until 2am doing hw and stuff and just decided to pass out rather than write nonsense that made no sense.


So this has been a portion of my life, exciting eh? Well whats more exciting is that I am going to my last Tuesday Thursday classes of my freshman year very very shortly :).


And plus, I only missed 3 blogs. I am a busy girl what can I say ;)

Bye BEDA!

I wish i had interesting things to say as this beda thing winds down, but i don't. Its like opposites. It's finals next week so I'm pretty much doing all the leftover work around and staying up late procrastinating.

i think this would have been more fun if people read this blog, I mean that's the cool part about it. All the blogs that I generally read are people from YouTube and stuff. I am not from there, I jumped on the vlogging bandwagon way to late and now am kind of stuck in the middle. The nerdfighter, YouTuber, harry potter fan, that loves the community she's a part of, but is not up there like others. People don't know me online. I am just a creepy stalker who reads other people's blogs wishing people found me more interesting, or that I was more eloquent, or that I knew how to make YouTube videos. You'd think it would be easy with the communities I like. I mean they are big, but compared to most they are relatively small.


Anyone know how to work widows movie maker? Maybe I'll start. probably not though.

okay last minute studying and going to bed. night!

I love that I am such a bad reader. And I say this because everyone has heard once you know how to read you just look for key letters that are in a word and you can figure it out. Well, I've have two stupid grammar moments in the past day and a half. The first word was botch, when I saw it I thought it was the word Biotch, as in, you know bitch. But I was wrong. Just now I checked CNN to see whats shakin' in the world and I swear I thought it said something along of the lines of 'nonsensical travel to Mexico'. Of course I had to look at the word again and realized I am such a tool and it was nonessential. Go me!

Okay so I was also on Facebook, I am always on facebook, its like a drug, and I found more funny ads in the sidebar, and i found this jewel:



First of all I find it funny because someone is trying to recruit people to be a fan of Jesus? Really facebook, you cease to amaze me. And second is the bottom one, at first I thought it said normal connecticut, which is cool. But then I was like "Why is there a weed symbol in the middle?" apparently this group wants weed to be legal in CT. I am kind of offended, I don't know if its aimed to my demographic because I live in CT, or because facebook thinks I'm a stoner....

Oh its my friend's birthday today too, so i basicly left her a message on facebook by popping poppers at a camera, it was fun.

alright i still have a ton of homework to do, see you tomorrow!

Opps, missed another day. I knew this was going to happen, right when I get down to the last week of classes at school I forget to pay attention to my blog. But really again there is nothing interesting going on. I spent money today and confused the word tractor with trailer. Which makes sense if you put them together. And now i realized that I still have a ton of stuff to do tonight, so night yall!

Yeah I didn't blog yesterday, I was too busy studying and passed out and forgot. Story of my life. I mean really nothing interesting has happened in the last 2 days besides the study, sleep, school, eat something, homework cycle. Oh wait thats a lie I went to work and ate TONS of food. I had carrot cake for breakfast, and then they had a catered lunch for staff appreciation day or whatever which they made me eat before i left. so that was unusual.

I just got into a huge argument with my brother about work, which is the worst when you work at the same place, but honestly i don't care. If he stepped up and took off the days that he needed and not needed me to do his dirty work he wouldn't get in such sticky situation. You snooze you loose. In fact I felt my eardrum pusling because of that conversation.

Whatever, I really don't have the energy or effort to care anymore.

Totally random, but there are things i really don't understand about life, like on facebook why someone pretty much takes pictures of themselves. Like I want to see 209 pictures of just you when im bored online. no thanks.

So I am sometimes baffled by the world I live in, well thats a lie I am usually baffled. Like for instance when is it smart to walk on a very busy Connecticut highway? Now I know you're thinking its impossible for Connecticut to be busy, but trust me dear reader it can be. A couple days ago I saw a guy walking on the the sides of the highway where you usally pull over for emergency stopping. Really? Like you could get hit by a car thats going 70+ miles.
The other thing that baffles me is those little signs people put in their yard. Now normally they're advertisements or vote so-and-so to make your life better, but I saw one this morning while driving to school that sad something along the lines of underage drinking and with use of 'web slang' aka, R instead of are, U instead of you. REALLY? IS AMERICAN TEENAGERS SO DUMB YOU HAVE TO USE INTERNET SPEAK TO GET THEIR ATTENTION? Know I know I used those cool little shortcuts when I was like 11, but come on, you gotta learn how to type fast enought and constantly using those slangs will get you know where fast, trust me, im pretty sure I've seen kids due that during my lifetime in public schools.

Generally I don't care about sentence structure and all that crap, I'm bad at it, but really people?


Another quick note I want to say here is the fact that I am afraid for the future. Like, not just "will i get out of college? Will I have a job? Will I get married and have children?" sort of worries, like will there be a plant in 10 years? We're learning about the ecology of the earth and I'm pretty sure that if we don't fix it soon we're all screwed.

Oh tours are being given right now in the library, its that time of year agian. A bunch of young girls who look lost and confused as they oggle at every male adult on campus. Oh life.

ahh i almost forgot to post today due to being somewhat busy and lazy.

Its been wet in ct, there was a downpour today and I was so mad I forgot my rainboots to wear because they are helpful and cute.

Really thats all I have to say today.

20

So I figure today would be important to mention the fact that columbine happened ten years ago today. Which is scary because where has the time gone?

I was only nine when the shooting happened, I vaguely remember seeing it one the television when I came home from school because my grandmother and dad were watching it. It's almost like my memory of watching the funeral of Princess Diana, I know I watched it but I can't remember it at all. I do remember because of that by the time i was in fourth or fifth grade they made all of us use plastic backpacks because of the fear of it happening again. I think its a lot more real to me because of the fact that I am in college and finished high school, that there could be so many times where that could have happened, kids just snap. Teenagers are cruel, everyone is overanalyzed based on who there with, what they do, and how they act. It's really sad. It's just scary that these things are possible in the world.

On a totally unrelated note, I have to get this work done so I can go home and strip my bead because i've been sleeping in it so long that my face is breaking out. Gross.


BYE! See ya tomiorrow!

Again, no idea what to write about here, I wish I had exciting and interesting thigns to say about my day, but I just worked and delt with obnoxious and annoying coworkers and customers, and went to eat with a friend. I keep checking the same six sites or so to see if there is any new updates, my chemistry hw is half done, with the rest of it being problems i have no idea how to answer or solve. Such a boring life.

so yeah.

Nothing like spending a Saturday night doing chem hw and possibly math hw. I have such an exciting life!

But really I have nothing else to talk about, so another memo from facebook as a tiny break before i finish my chem hw:

1. Name one song that reminds you of an ex/former crush?
There's no particular song.

2. Where was your default pic taken (On Facebook)?
Panthorn Park, with the coolest people ever.

3. What's your middle name?
Elizabeth

4. Care about someone?
A fair amount of people

5. Honestly, does your crush like you back?
No, I really don't have a 'crush', just lots of eyecandy.

6. What is your current mood?
tired. But then again I am always tired.

7.What color underwear are you wearing?
white.

8. What makes you happy?
lots of things that i don't feel like typing up.

10. If you could go back in time, and change something what would you change?
I would work harder in school and probably be more outgoing/emotionally strong

12. Something you do a lot?
work

14. What's the name of the song stuck in your head right now?
I had Right Round stuck in my head for a good part of today thanks to Nicole

15. Who did you copy and paste this from?
Kait.

16. When was the last time you cried?
Um friday, I was frustrated about calculus

18. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
If you consider large about 6 of my friends then yes.

19. If you could have one super power what would it be?
To become invisible

20. First thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Um, their face? I honestly don't get these types of questions since I look at the face first and if its generally good looking I'm happy. I try not to stare at people for too long, it can get awkward.

21. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
I get something different every time.

22. Favorite colors?
I like lots of colors.

24. When was the last time you lied?
Friday, I said I didn't want to work someone's shift b/c I was going out, when in reality I read the text wrong at 7am.

25. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
yes, only the good ones though.

27. What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
Nothing.

28. Do you speak any other language?
Only stupid.

29. What's your favorite smell?
I like lots of smells, not one in particular thats my favorite

30. If you could describe your life in one word what would it be?
Busy.

31. When was the last time you gave/received a hug?
Today.

32. Have you ever been kissed in the rain?
Nope.

33. What are you thinking about right now?
How I should be doing hw

34. What should you be doing?
Showering and hw/

35. What was the last thing that made you upset/angry?
Um, my mom probably for some stupid reason

37. Do you like working in the yard?
nope.

38. If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want it to be?
Um, I don't know

39. Do you act differently around a crush?
Probably

40. What are you listening to right now?
nothing.


A N G E R
1. Are you currently mad at someone? no
2. Which family member has the worst temper? we all do
3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone's face? no
4. Does your face turn red when you're angry? probably
5. When you're mad do you prefer to keep to it yourself? yeah


E X C I T E M E N T
1. Has anyone ever thrown a surprise party for you? No
2. If you won a million $'s what would be your first thoughts be? Pay of loans and travel
3. If you could have anything right now, what would it be? For freshmen year to be over, and me doing really well in my classes


Y O U
1. Where were you born? Waterbury
2. What's your main goal in life? to be happy
3. Do you want to have children? Yeah, eventually
4. How do you want to die? Preferably old and in the least painful way possible.

L O V E
1. Do you have a crush? not really
2. Who is the best hugger? haven't found one yet
3. Love at first sight? I don't know


L A S T
1. Person you saw not in your family? Friendly's crew
2. Person you hugged? Krista, or Lindsay
3. Movie watched? Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers


I N T H E L A S T M O N T H H A V E Y O U
1. Bought something? yes, mainly food and gas
2. Gotten sick? no
3. Been hugged? yes?
4. Felt stupid? plenty of times
5. Missed someone? yess
6. Failed a test? yes :[


F U T U R E
1. Do you want to get married? Yeah.
2. What kind of house do you want? preferably one with a roof


H A V E Y O U E V E R
1. Shaved your head bald? no
2. Taken over an hour to get ready? Probably
3. Gone to jail? No.


A R E Y O U G O I N G T O
1. Continue using the computer? maybe
2. Hang out with someone today? no
4. Go to school? Monday


W H I C H I S B E T T E R
1. Rain or snow? Rain.
2. Summer or Winter? Summer.
3. Text messaging or AIM? AIM
4. McDonalds or A&W? McDonald's. Plus I've never been to A&W.
5. Movies or shows? depends.


H A V E Y O U E V E R
1. Said "I Love you"? Mhm.
2. Given money to a homeless person? no
4. Waited all night for a phone call?no i am a fan of sleeping and not a fan of talking on the phone
5. Snuck out? no
6. Have you ever looked at the stars? Mhmm.
7. Sleep in a bed with a person of the same sex? Yeah
9. Stolen money from a Friend? No way.
10. Seen someone die? No.
11. Been on an airplane? Yes.
12. Slept all day? A few times.
13. Missed someone so much it hurt? No
14. Fallen asleep during school? no
15. Been lonely? Sure.
16. Cheated at a game? No
17. Been in a car accident? yeah
18. Had detention? no
19. Been so happy you cried? Mhmm.
21. Regretted loving someone? No.


see ya tomorrow!

Nothing like a night of watching Lost and finishing Paper Towns rather then doing all the work that needs to get done. But today was long, and annoying.

Mostly it centered around the fact that I am pretty much frustrated with my life right now. I mean I shouldn't be, but I am. There's too much to do and not enough time for me to enjoy myself. I'm stressed out about work and school, and stressed that I stress over the most trivial and stupid things that shouldn't bother me. I am frustrated with my parents, who never see my side of the argument, and let my brother do whatever he wants and has no responsibility for himself or anyone else, whereas when I was 16 I had a lot more to worry about.

And I think the main part of this frustration is that I should have experienced this stuff ages ago, well okay maybe not ages, but like 2 of 3 years ago. I think that's the problem with kids who mature faster then others and never really go through that 'rebellion stage', they kind of blow up in the last years of adolescence.


You know whats uncool, when people put pictures of the tattoos and piercings they have. Really? I don't want to know you have 34 piercing all over your body and six tattoos with plans for more. No thanks.


see you tomorrow.

I always find something to do rather than the paper that I should really be finishing. Like I only have three paragraphs, a quick reread, and doing the citation/refrences crap.
Agian so this will be short, really sort. So let me just say the new Harry Potter trailer looks amazing, I am soo excited to see it this summer, and I want it to come out now.(Actually that's a lie, I think I can wait a little bit, maybe until like May 9th when I'm done with classes.)

Anyway thats about how exciting my life is. I was kind of afraid for the youtube thing but they've only changed the profile stuff, and I don't make videos so its not that big of a deal for me. I should start making video though... If window's movie editor wasn't so dumb i probably would.

Alright I really need to work on the rest of this paper and do a calc quiz so i can go to bed at a decent hour, see ya tomorrow!

I love it when a website's cookies die or whatever and i have to sit and ponder, scratch my head, and curse the god above that I don't remember which user name I've use with which password. See I have a variation of 4 general names I use online depending on the place im using and such. Most of them consist of Bigred...[Insert numbers here]. So I get confused a lot. The screen name was chosen in between 7th and 8th grade, because i realized that though my first aim screenname was pretty cool (S134harrypotter) it wasn't exactly mature enough for me, so I switch to something that describes me so simply and perfectly I'm suprised I actually though of it myself. Bigred gum of course is spicy, firey and can have quite a temper, then mellows out into the lovely cinomin-y flavor once your taste buds have gone num. Which I think can describe me when I'm in one of those moods. But the real reason i picked it was because I was always the tall redheaded girl in my classes since i've gone to class. Yeah I'm so cheesey and literal its not even funny.

Wow, random stuff, which is good because i have to get the first two pages of my english paper online by like 12ish and study for bio. The paper so far, consist of:

In the city of Edinburgh Scotland in the late eighties and early nineties author Irvine Welsh paints a picture of drug addicts facing problems in their own lifestyle, some being the constant fear of being infected with AIDS, the death of friends and family, and trying to kick a habit that has been around for so long it is hard to let go.


I'm not sure if this will work with the rest of my essay but whatever, i gotta study for bio after that and curse my college for not having enouhg classes open for the classes i have to take next year. Sometimes I wish i was still in high school, doing little to get by well enough, but then i realize how terrible it is and am content


see you tomorrow!

Really not in a good mood, busy and tired and stressed and worried about everything. So I'm just going to fill out a survey right now to waste some time and for those reading to get to know me more.

Whats one thing that's heavily weighing on your mind?
My grades in school, especially calculus, which i am now failing.

What's one thing you've learned from a good friendship gone bad?
Um, I generally don't realize it's gone bad until it is bad and then I'm lost and a bit upset and angry.

Whats one thing you've learned lately from love?
It seems scary and cheesy and wonderful at the same time, although I've never been in it.

Is there anyone special in your life at the moment?
Sure, everyone is special.

What's a happy time you've had in the past week?
I saw my friend Katlyn because she was home for Easter.

Is there anything in your past that you'd like to try again?
Not really I don't think. Maybe just all around working harder.

Whats something that can always make you feel better?
Friends, reading, sleeping, crying.

Who was the last person you had a crush on?
Generally I just think someone is good looking and then realize they are an ass. So I prefer the term fancying someone. But there have been a couple that don't stand out. Maybe Brian or Nick? But nothing will happen.

Where do you see yourself this time next year?
Hopefully still in college, in Ireland :)

Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
No I don't think so, I like to not be a nuisance.

Who do you feel the most comfortable around?
Friends, certian family members, myself.

Is there something that you're waiting for?
Summer

One thing you're not looking forward to?
Um the rest of the semester. Too much work and effort.

How do you feel about change?
Not a fan of big major change. But I try to deal.

Do you think anyone in general out there loves you?
I guess.

When do you think the world will end?
In a long time, preferably not when I'm around.

Whats the most expensive piece of clothing you own?
My prom dress I think.

Why do you drive the car you have right now?
To go to school and work. I practically live in it.

Do you still talk to the person you LAST kissed?
Um, what kind of kiss? Since I still haven't had my 'first kiss' then No, since he is not around, but in a general term yes.

Did you get any compliments today?
Nope

What were you just thinking about?
The millions of things I should be doing instead of this, and that I need to charge my laptop.

When was the last time you drove more than 15 minutes?
Like, an hour ago.

Would you stop and ask for directions if you were lost?
No. I would wing it.

If you were atop a tall building, would you throw stuff at people below?
Probably not.

Do you believe we really landed on the moon?
Yeah

If a spaceship landed on your front lawn, what would be your 1st reaction?
I would hope it was the Doctor in his TARDIS, but if not probably freak out and be curious at the same time.

Do you believe people should get married in a church?
It's their perogative. I don't care.

Have you stuck your hand up a vending machine to try and get something out?
yes.

Ever filled out magazine subscription cards for someone else as a joke?
No

What items would you NOT buy from a rummage sale?
clothes, shoes.

If there's a food drive, do you start searching for stuff YOU wouldn't eat?
Um, I generally just pull out whatever is not expired and non-perishable. Or just get canned veggies.

Does the news depress you?
Sort of.

What topping do you HATE on pizzas?
Anchovies, athough I've never had it on the pizza

Got any interesting wigs?
nope

Do hypothetical situations honestly prepare a person for what's to come?
Depends on the situation and how plausable they could be.

Can you resist temptation?
Depends on the temptation.

Do people underestimate your intelligence?
Probably seceretly, I know I do.

Would a credit card get you into trouble?
No I'm a saver

Truth or dare?
Truth

Do you believe it's okay to tell white lies?
sure why not.

What Mario game was your least favorite, and why?
I love Mario games.

Have you ever been snowed in?
no... not that i recall

What do you like in your omelettes?
um veggies and cheese and ham.

Which is more annoying: sequels or prequels?
sequels.

Do you use rechargeable batteries?
Yes

Describe the chair you're sitting in. Is it comfy?
I'm on my bed. so yes

Do you like to drink Jell-o as you're making it?
no

Which That 70's Show character would you like to kick it with?
I wasn't a That 70's Show fan, so i don't know who.

Does your alarm clock actually awaken you?
sometimes.

Ever think you might have seen a UFO?
probably as a kid

Does playing games in 2-D bother you because you now play mostly 3-D games?
no

Tell the weirdest name of a town/city you've ever heard:
Intercourse PA :)

Say a superhero like Spiderman saved you. Would you fall in love?
probably not.




Yeah now your sooo informed right!

I am soo hungry. But I don't want to wait for food, the lines are long and the food here at school is usually not worth my money unless I'm desperate. I have learned two things now that I've gone to college and have to pay for some of my own things.
1. I am cheap.
2. I still mooch off my parents for anything.

Oh the life of someone who is an adult, but I have become soo good at getting stuff at my parents house, eating things that I wouldn't before and weigh the pros and cons on spending money on food for myself. I must admit people tell me it looks like i've lost weight (well not in the last few weeks, since all I've done is eat with my mom being imobile and wanting food.) But its because I am sort of training myself to eat less and better portions. This usually fails and I end up eating one big meal a day and eating something throughout the entire day.

Okay, switching topic I'm in the student lounge and everyone around me is doing things I wish i could do now which consists of: people eating FOOD, people reading decent looking books, and someone SLEEPING!

If I didn't have class in half an hour I would be doing at least one or two of them.

I guess that this means ill have to get food after class. And I have soo much to do still.


Oh college is awesome!

see you tomorrow!

Drinking Snapple in a two minute span is not good at 10 at night. ergh massive caffeine headache.

I really have nothing to talk about that occurred today. I worked, I went out to dinner with my friends, and have been doing hw and watching the last of the Dr. Who marathon. Fantastic easter, right? Nope. Boring and Dull.

So since I have nothing to talk about I am going to get back to my calc hw and research for psych.

Spent the day working and watching the saved Doctor Who episodes on my DVR. I'm pretty sure I'll finish them up tomorrow after work. While writing my psych paper. Is it bad for me to hope that oneday the Doctor will show up and take me on a grand adventure into the past/present/who-knows-where. Ah, I can still be a dreamer, even if it won't happen. Maybe I'll have an impulse buy and get all the seasons.

In other news, I watched Slumdog last night, it was a good movie, nice plot and ending, but I'm not sure how it won so many awards. I mean I am not a film critic, but still. I must say I really liked the music in it. And I am determined to learn the dance in the end of it. I think I'll have to watch it agian.

I don't want to work tomorrow. Someone get me out of it please.

kthanksbye.

Today is awesome simply because its a Doctor Who Marathon, AND they even mention Harry Potter in it; its sad how I get happy on the littlest things.

But yes, enjoying Doctor Who, I really wish they'd play it in order, since the last Dr. Who I watched involved WWII and the 9th doctor, I really want to see the one where he regenerates into David Tennant.

That pretty much sums up my day today, I might be hanging out with a friend later who's home for Easter, but other then that a relaxing night before I start writing my psychology paper on BiPolar Disorder.

Have a good Friday! (hahaha im such a hoot, well have a Good Friday too, see capitalization matters!)

See ya Tommorrow!